Trailer Trash Court – Craven Moorhead
Life in the trailer park is always interesting. It’s a simple, yet very entertaining way of life. There isn’t much to do here but keep up with the ‘he said—she said’ drama that plays out like a reality TV program day by day. No need for cable, internet or other forms of electronic entertainment when you live in a sit-com style reality show. As elementary as it may sound, I can’t complain about the lifestyle—largely because I can’t afford to do much of anything else. I have had a few menial task jobs here and there, but as long as I have a few bucks for fuel in the bagger, beer in the fridge and tips at the gentleman’s club I’m good to go. I never worry about being a rich guy, so I rarely worry about working at anything for too long. Work just takes up all your time and causes you to have to pay taxes. It’s not for me, but I guess it works for most people.
One of the pastimes that I enjoy most is sitting in my plastic pool drinking beer and reading magazines. Mostly I just look at the pictures, but on this particular day I was actually reading a Born To Ride magazine. Much to my surprise, Spyke had written about his human (term used loosely) counterpart Mike and his interpretation on women’s vs. men’s rules. I attempted to digest the content and understand the intended message, but I realized that Mike—once again, was totally misguided. I took a moment to think about the article, but ultimately I had to call him to appear in “Trailer Trash Court.” He would likely say that it was his idea to come visit, but we all know the truth. He probably just wanted free beer.
Man Cave – Southern style – Drama & Disaster
My neighbor who lived right next door to me had a menial task job just like I did. He drove a truck all night delivering goods to convenience stores all over the area, sort of like I did when I was driving the garbage truck only in a polar opposite dimension. It’s sort of like a global recycling thing probably more resembling an endless circle of life I suppose. One guy delivers it, you buy it, you throw the wrappers and containers away and then the other guy hauls it to the landfill. Anyway, we would hang out every now and then drinking beers, smoking cigarettes and discussing the miseries of dealing with having to work for a living. That all changed one day when a storm blew through the trailer park, sending a gigantic tree limb through the roof of his trailer. In a panic he called me and asked if I had any duct tape so he could patch the hole in the roof. I obliged and learned that he was lucky enough to have insurance on his trailer. He moved on to a real house, and I watched as the salvage company hauled off what was left of his trailer. What was bad luck for him turned into good luck for me because he gave me his gazebo which is quite large, and afforded me the opportunity to have a true southern culture on the skids man cave! I outfitted the thing with a TV, stereo system, a table with some chairs, a dance floor, and a dollar store chandelier just for a little class. It rocks. …
Doink-Doink Trial part 32 – Craven’s Trailer Park
So I am sitting in my plastic pool drinking beer and perusing one of my many girlie magazines when I hear Mike and Spyke arrive. After a bit of small talk we proceed to the man-cave (AKA Court House) where we begin the discussion of why Mike has a total lack of respect and consideration for women. Not just his women, but ALL women. He of course has a logical explanation for all the nonsense he espouses, but the evidence is clear. I did try to give some logical advice regarding the treatment of women but alas, I fear that my advice fell upon deaf ears. Some of the simple things that I suggested included being nice to your Ol’ Lady after she works all day trying to keep you in tip money for the gentlemen’s club, giving her a compliment when she allows you to sleep while she prepares your dinner, and of course remember to give back a small allowance from her earnings so she can purchase necessities to keep her looking good for your pleasure. Even though Mike disagreed, the Trailer Trash Court found him to be guilty of being a sexist with egregious disregard, and Spyke as the jury squawked for the maximum sentence which was equal to the singing of Karaoke, which in all sensibility should carry a penalty of fines or imprisonment similar to that of assault. I don’t really believe that Mike learned anything from his recent visit, and of course Trailer Trash Court does not have the legal power to impose any penalty upon those that do not dwell in the domain that is the Trailer Park, but I’m sure that he will be back again for some more advice. We all should share our opinions with our friends whether they listen or not. Thanks for stopping by, and next time BRING BEER!!