SPYKE & MIKE GO TO THE PET STORE
It’s a great time to be living in Florida my Born To Ride friends. As the rest of the country is shut down either from snow, freezing temperatures, or creeping corona virus, we here in Florida are enjoying a fairly open for business state with warm weather, outdoor events and live music on a limited but regular basis.
Most recently, the Gibtown and Sarasota Bikefests are now a memory of good times. Many Kodak moments were made with new and old friends. Check it out on the Born To Ride website. All that fun was just getting our partying taste buds wet for the upcoming and hopefully eventful Daytona Bike Week.
For those of you “up north” who think we have it too easy in the Tampa Bay area, I want to tell you that it was only a brisk 55 degrees this morning, foggy and drizzling. Mike rummaged through his closet for a jacket. He needed to decide between his Tampa Bay Lightning Stanley Cup Champions jacket, his Tampa Bay Rays American League Champions jacket, and a Tampa Bay Buccaneers Super Bowl Champions jacket. By the time he made his decision, it had warmed up to a balmy 72 degrees and he didn’t need the jacket anymore. This was way too much stress for Mike, so he put on a BTR tank top and decided for us to begin our day at a beach bar with brunch.
OUR STRUGGLE IS REAL, BUT WE’RE GETTING THROUGH THIS!
We have good days and bad days. Just last week while out shopping, we had one that could go either way. I’ll let you, my BTR readers, be the judge of which way it went.
Mike and I were visiting our favorite pet supermarket and had a little incident while checking out. Mike was paying for a large bag of sunflower seeds and I was getting my usual weigh in on the counter scale, when a lady behind him asked, “Do you have a pet that likes sunflower seeds?”
Mike babbles, “Spyke I know you want to tell the rest of the story but, let me do it ‘cuz I have to get it right so I can be properly judged.”
I cackle, “Okay dude, for your sake I wouldn’t want to get it wrong.”
Mike begins, “After having three cups of coffee and skipping out on my weekly Thinkers Anonymous (TA), or what I like to call Over Thinkers Anonymous (OTA) meeting, then hearing a question like that, my mind begins racing. Did she not see Spyke? Does she think I’m feeding squirrels? Does it look like I have farm animals for pets? So, still being on medical leave, highly caffeinated, falling off the OTA wagon and slightly bored, I replied; ‘Actually, they’re for me and not a pet. I’m going back on a seed-only diet.’””
“I then began to fill her head with the details. ‘I probably shouldn’t do this, because last time I ended up in the hospital. I had lost 50 pounds before awakening in intensive care with tubes sticking out of all my orifices and IVs in both arms.’ I told her it was pretty much the perfect diet. All I had to do was keep my pockets full of seeds, and when I got hungry, I would just pop a few in my mouth and wash them down with some water.”
“Since getting healthy and feeling the weight coming back on, I decided to give it another try.” (I have to mention here that other people in line and the store manager were intensely listening by now.)
“With a horrified look on her face, she asked me, ‘Did you eat some rotten seeds that made you so sick you ended up in the hospital?’
“I stared her right in the eyes and with my most believable look said, ‘No I was standing at the bus stop, popped a few in my mouth, spilled the water, then slipped off the curb into the street and a passing car hit me!’”
“The next girl in line was laughing so hard I thought snot was going to come out her nose, making her drop a bag of cat food. The manager that was overhearing our conversation immediately escorted us out the door. Needless to say, I can’t shop at that Pet Supplies Plus anymore.”
I squawk, “I must give it to you Mike, that was one clever way to get a free bag of sunflower seeds. I’m just glad you didn’t use the same story while in the checkout line at the garden center when you bought bags of cow manure.”
Mike chuckles, “I couldn’t Spyke, the couple that I was chatting with in Lowe’s knew me from an OTA meeting and would have called me out at the next one. All this talk of food and poop has got me thinking that we need to ingest the best. Let’s stop by Popeye’s on the way to my weekly Over Thinkers Anonymous (OTA) meeting, send you in with a pickup order and see what you come out with.”
I cackle, “That’s cool, I’m up for some cousin and fries! Let’s jump in the truck and you can get my wings in the windows, the A/C on, your knees under the keys and its wheels rolling down the road.”
Do you have a riding pet story? Let us know, Spyke wants to feature them! firstname.lastname@example.org